Dentist

go. now. don't wait.

i just had a periodontal cleaning -- which means, if i understand the science correctly, the dentist has been trained in torture and actually hates people so much she wants to kill them by way of the gum.

good lord. painful dentist visit. could have been avoided if i HAD ACTUALLY GONE TO A DENTIST ON A REGULAR BASIS. man i'm dumb.

all i could think of in the chair, as spittle dripped out of my numb mouth -- did i mention she had to numb my mouth for the cleaning? yeah, took EIGHT SHOTS -- is the seinfeld episode wherein kramer has dental work and the numbing agent works so well mel torme thinks he's retarded.

"i let the expletives fly!"